Reflection
by AJ Morrelli
Summary: The Guardian's words still ringing in her ears, Luce Surana makes a decision to try and fix the mistakes of the past.  Some AU-ness.


((Firstly, the usual disclaimer in that Bioware owns all of the Dragon Age properties, with the exception of Luce's personality and name, there. Potential spoilers if you read onward, regarding mage origins, Redcliffe quest lines, and what happens to companions. This was written shortly after I cleared the Urn of Sacred Ashes and there were just some things that happened during that quest that stuck with me. Not to mention personally being frustrated at the lack of options when it comes to Jowan. So I took matters into my own hands, making this slightly AU story. I'm leaving it open for the time being, as I may or may not continue it later on. We'll have to see what the muse thinks. Hope you enjoy!))

* * *

The entire castle had seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when Arl Eamon finally opened his eyes. Now that he was well again, though, the war and the Blight could no longer be put off.

The first order of business, however, was to deal with the Arl's poisoner: Jowan.

Her companions watched as Luce Surana paced back and forth in a small circle, her mabari, Fetch, padding after her, whining softly. She kept wringing her fingers and rubbing the palms of her hands with her thumbs, watching the door that lead toward the dungeons.

As he entered the hall, the guard leading him shoved him, causing him to stumble. The blonde let out a sound and scurried over, helping him up. Despite his quiet thanks and a tiny smile for her, she frowned at the shackles on his wrists.

"You should have run when I gave you the chance," she whispered.

"I couldn't, Luce. I had to make things right."

"But they-"

Despite the chains, he could still take her hand. "It's all right."

She looked down at their twined fingers, holding in a soft gasp. His wrists beneath the manacles were chaffed and red, too raw to have been done recently. Looking at his profile closely, she noticed the discolored skin she hadn't before. And although the was walking fine, he seemed to carry himself a little differently, as if he were trying to ease an ache without drawing attention to it.

Focusing her energy, she let her magic trail through their joined hands, allowing her healing magics to patch him up. He stumbled again, looking over at her with wide eyes.

"You're still my friend, Jowan," she breathed out, feeling his hand squeeze hers.

They stood together as Eamon rallied his charges against the dark-haired mage, charges he didn't dispute.

"I'm hardly impartial in this, but then again, I question your own neutrality, Warden." Eamon fixed a hard gaze on her, which she met with her own steady expression. "Still, what say you? What do _you_ think I should do?"

"Jowan has already suffered some for his crimes." She glanced over at the arlessa, who refused to look her in the eyes. "And he wants to repent. Let him." She took a deep breath. "Let him go and then let the Circle hunt him if they still choose."

"Absolutely not," Eamon growled. "I will not loose a known maleficar, not when I have the power to stop him. No need for the Circle to hunt him, since we can turn him over to them just as easily."

"They'll make him Tranquil if you do that," she snapped back. "And then he won't care about what he's done anymore. You'd just be absolving him, if that's your solution."

"Then you leave me no choice. He'll have to be executed. He must be punished for all he's done! He started this and nearly doomed us all!"

_Do you regret, Grey Warden? You told Irvine about Jowan..._ The ghostly voice echoed in Luce's mind, the question that had been nagging her since they sought entrance to the temple that held Andraste's ashes.

"Then kill me!" She put herself in front of Jowan, between herself and the others.

The other mage started. "Luce, what-? No!"

She ignored him. "I'm the guilty one, not him. It's all my fault this happened."

"Nonsense!" Eamon protested. "You were at Ostagar during all this. You can't have-"

"I told Irving." She turned to face Jowan. "I told him what we were doing in the basement. I was the reason he knew to be waiting for you."

Jowan's eyes went wide. "What?"

"I thought...I believed you when you said you weren't a blood mage. I thought Lily was...was working with Greagoir to try and trick you. So I went to him and he told me to play along. And then...then they forced you to...to..."

"Reveal myself. I never should have put you in that position, but-"

"We were friends," she concluded, smiling weakly at him.

Eamon cleared his throat. "Warden, this changes nothing. Jowan made his own deal with Loghain."

She turned to face the arl once again. "To try and help those that are still living within the tower."

"It doesn't matter the reason. He conspired with a traitor!"

"_He_ didn't know that! No one knew what happened at Ostagar! He had no reason not to believe the _teyrn_!"

"And you're making excuses for him! You're letting your feelings influence your thoughts."

Luce's green eyes narrowed. "I'm not the only one around here that's guilty of that," she snapped back.

"Warden, please." Isolde's voice came out in something more of a whimper than anything else.

Eamon turned to look at his wife. "Isolde was only-"

"Letting her feelings influence her thoughts. And look that happened. Jowan was only doing what _she_ told him to. _She_ gave Loghain the opportunity. And if it wasn't Jowan, it could just have easily been someone else. You call for his head and, by your reasoning, I can just as rightly call for _hers_!"

"This is insanity. Alistair, your fellow Warden-"

"I'm sorry, Arl Eamon," the templar interjected. "I...agree with Luce." Isolde shot him a withering look but he still moved to stand by the elf.

"How could you, a templar of all people, side with _them_?"

"Because I trust her." He laid a hand on Luce's shoulder.

"I do what the lady tells me to do," Zevran chuckled, sliding over and actually framing Jowan.

Fetch trotted over and sat in front of his mistress, head up and alert, as though daring anyone to approach. Eamon tried and the dog's ears flattened, a low growl rumbling in his throat.

"Fine, Warden. You've done an admirable job of pardoning your fellow mage. I'll release him, but on the condition that it's into _your_ custody. Otherwise, I've a feeling we'd have our _own _civil war to deal with."

Luce felt herself relaxing for the first time since she'd first discovered her friend in the dungeon. "Don't worry, Ser. I'll keep an eye on him." She turned to smile at the brunette. Given the raw look of relief on his face, she nearly went over and embraced him. For the moment, though, she had to go back to being a Grey Warden. There'd be time enough for the two of them later. "Now," she put her attention back on the arl, "if you'll unchain him, we can get down to the business of Loghain and this Landsmeet of yours."


End file.
